writer – Every Day Simple

Acceptance

February 5, 2011 No Comments

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, right? Isn’t that what we’re told? Twelve-step programs have become mainstream, offering a wealth of information for anyone struggling with any kind of addiction. Tried and true advice. It can work.

What about admitting you have a gift being the first step to the rest of your life?

I’m reading Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit right now. Synchronous, really, how I got it. My husband and I went to our local bookstore to conclude our child-free days over the winter break. One of the people I am glad to call a friendly acquaintance happened to be working there. We got to talking. Those of you who know me well know it doesn’t take long to get to reality, to what’s truly important when in sincere conversation with me. We shared a bit of our lives with each other. It was lovely.

I confessed to her that I am a writer. I confessed that I really hadn’t read all that many books. I confessed that my husband and I wanted to support our local bookstore more. We spoke each other’s language. I wasn’t burned at the stake. In fact, as I browsed the shelves, she approached me again and put a book in my hands. “You have to read this,” she said. The owner of the store, working at a table behind me, assured me that is was a highly recommended book; the dance troupe last in town bought 14 copies. This was Tharp’s book.

Within the past couple of months, I have come to the realization that if I am most honest with myself, I am happiest when writing. At home, in the woods, at the park, in the doctor’s office — anywhere I can put pen to paper (or finers to keys) and be alone with my thoughts. But I have more to learn. I have discipline to cultivate. I have unhealthy habits to overcome.

The Creative Habit comes along, and right off the bat she’s talking about the importance of routine. She can’t make me get up at 5:30, but she states quite clearly that her morning starts out at 5:30AM. She does it. Others do it, and artists have for centuries. They are extremely productive.

Almost in passing, she refers to a moment in time when she thought she could have been a painter; she has a talent for the visual arts. She let the thought go as quickly as it came. She’s a dancer. She goes on to say that it’s almost better to have one clearly defined talent in your life. It’s harder for those who can do many things well. The discernment of your best gift is only harder the more choices you have.

Did she know I was going through this right now? That for some time I’ve been wondering if the crafts I’ve been making were actually good for my creative process or an accomplice to my nasty habit of procrastination?

I am in process of organizing my craft supplies. Some I need, some I don’t. Scraps of fabric are going to my sister-in-law who makes clothes for children. I’m keeping the bulks of fabric for skirts for myself and for the girls. Good skirts are hard to come by and expensive should you actually find them. Necessity and creativity are good companions. Now I need to organize my stamps. Which ones do I need and use? Which stationary do I need to keep. What will nurture my writing, encourage me to write? It needs to be an accessory to my writing, an embellishment.

Inasmuch as I enjoy doing other things, I have to accept the fact that I’m a writer foremost. This is the greatest part of my priesthood in this life. I believe that through my writing, I have the potential to reach others and convey to them some of the Truths in this life.

The page is my blank canvas. The Love of God is my muse. With every word I bare my soul and make myself vulnerable, but I have nothing to lose. As sure as the cold brings the beauty of snow and the grips of death, I trust that this experience of life is meant to be shared. For some, it’s meant to be shared through dance, sculpture, painting, music, or any of the arts, but for me, I accept the fact that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to put into words that which is completely inexplainable. I’ll enjoy every moment of the painful growth as I stretch my imagination and probe the depths of experience.

Whether a gift or a curse, I accept it with a smile. May I remember this at 5:30 in the morning.

Life Lessons, Parenting, Relationships, Self-preservation, Spirituality

Reality Check

November 7, 2008 No Comments

Finally, I see where all the fall colors come from. So often each tree changes to its one color, then the leaves drop and become the brown, crunchy mass. This past week, I’ve seen trees in all shades, from blazing orange to fiery red to brilliant gold. Yesterday I even saw one of the most beautiful fall maples with shades from green to yellow and red to orange. If I hadn’t been driving, I think I would have stopped to bask in its brilliance.

There’s no doubt we’re in the midst of fall now; the leaves are quickly dropping, the nights are cold, the holiday goods are out in all the stores, and the lights being put all around the square. Now I figure is a good time to be honest with myself and take a good look at where I am, who I am, what I’m doing and where I’m going. I should have done this on my birthday, but I was too busy doing. I’m getting signs that now would be a good time. (I share this with you not to boast or brag or complain out loud but rather to encourage you to take time to do the same for yourself at some point.)

I ground myself in my writing. To write, I must be still so as to receive the truth that is being channeled through me. I have to be careful about my influences, for everything in my environment affects how I interpret any given moment. When writing, I feel my closest connection to the Divine and feel that this is my right livelihood. Going forward, I make a conscious effort to write more daily, be a productive writer and establish myself as such.

I craft to disperse the creative energy in a physical, practical way. Perhaps if I channeled all my creative energy into writing, I wouldn’t need to write more, but I enjoy greatly using my goods, giving handmade gifts and teaching the children how to make thin Now I will increase my skills with what I have and make what I need or need to give. I would like to make a few things well to sell in an Etsy shop. That would be nice.

My relationships with others I feel has always been golden. I do my best to be authentic with them, to listen well and to be participatory. With my children and husband, I have to make a conscious effort to love myself well so that I may love them wholly. We are currently seeking a family counselor so as to address our needs, for raising kids is harder than we ever imagined it could be. We need some help, and asking for help is completely okay. It’s better to ask for help than to sink into despair, withdrawing from yourself and others. May we be always honest, loving and respectful of ourselves and each other.

In the daily round, I am pleased with where my expectations are. I’ve come a long way in understanding what I can and cannot do, steering myself away from the buckets of shoulds. That’s not to say I don’t occasionally regress. In a given day, like all mothers, I combine all my different roles. I am at once a writer, wife, mother, spiritual seeker and birth advocate and educator/doula. I’m sure that’s probably not even all aspects of my being, but they affect most of what I do, day in and day out.

As with the leaves, I am constantly changing. Where I am today differs from yesterday and tomorrow, but if I can hear what I need from and for my soul, then I can visualize it and try my best to make it manifest. To do so, I need some quiet, some time for me. Thanks, Casey, for giving me that time yesterday when I needed it so badly. Thanks, Kaye, for listening.

Philosophy

What Is EverydaySimple?

February 1, 2008 No Comments

In the era of internet, my husband and I have had this domain for years. Just now are we using it for something other than an e-mail address. But what does it mean? If it’s the title under which I’ll be submitting a blog, shouldn’t I have a clear idea? After eight years, don’t I already know?

Most of us would probably like to live every day simply. We want our lives to be easier, and we’ll listen to all the tips and tricks that will help simplify our lives. Perhaps I’ll have something to offer along this line. If I do, rest assured that I’ll share.

Everyday. Simple. At best, it is a way of being, part of the journey and process. From my perspective, it is being a wife, mother, woman, seeker, educator, advocate, each in their right time and in balance. It’s having a home, a garden and hobbies, perhaps even some work that brings insight. It is taking the complications in life and mulling over them just enough to find the reality, the truth and humor. For me, it is a recurring lesson. Every day, life is simple. Everyday life is simple. Being a parent, a partner, a friend — all simple. I picture a Buddhist monk handing me a cup of tea. “But don’t you see how hard my life is?” I wail. He smiles omnisciently. “Have some tea.” “Don’t you understand? It’s difficult. Hard. Everything is so complicated!” He puts the tea in my hands. “Everyday simple.” We drink our tea.

This koan of sorts will remain with me. Perhaps it means more that what I even thought. Chances are, probably not. It is probably much simpler than that. Let’s just enjoy this journey with the understanding that we don’t have anything figured out. We’re just taking the lessons as they come, finding love and laughter along the way, and trying to keep everyday simple.