self – Every Day Simple

How’s Your Heart?

June 11, 2018 No Comments

1 Samuel 8:4-20, 11:14-15 | Psalm 138 | 2 Corinthians 4:13-5:1 | Mark 3:20-35

When someone asks, “How are you doing?” or more likely, “How ya doin’?” What’s the common response? . . . It’s usually “Fine,” right? Maybe we even return the question to make sure everything’s “fine” for them, too. Do we really believe them? Chances are we don’t believe them because we know full well we’re not telling the full truth; we’re just giving them the short, socially acceptable response so we can save the full answer for our next counseling session. And that’s okay and actually preferred because we’re all carrying around our stuff. (I think that’s why we like our pets so much because their lives remind us to remember the basics of what keep us alive.)

If we think about it, we’re simultaneously functioning at many levels: within Creation, as part of humanity, in a nation, as part of community/work/tribe, within our family, and as ourselves, as an individual. So when someone asks us if we’re fine, it might take a while to do a thorough reality check. Maybe when we say “fine,” what we really mean is that we’re coping alright with everything we’re dealing with. Maybe that’s what I mean. 😉

Our gospel reading for today captures these levels pretty well. At least as a reader of Mark’s gospel, we somewhat have an understanding of who Jesus is. He is born in the flesh as human. As a Jew, we know he’s part of the nation of Israel. He’s surrounded by community of his choosing and those who have chosen him, either as friend or foe. He is associated with a particular family, though as a person it gets complicated, being the Son of God and all.

Do you notice that it’s not recorded that anyone ever asks Jesus how he’s doing?

He does get a lot of accusations thrown his way, though, among those that he’s aligned with Satan, using the power of the devil to cast out demons.

Jesus, as part of his response, says that a kingdom, a house divided against itself cannot stand. I know he says more, but let’s take that right there: “if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.”

Jesus gives us a good rule here by which to measure ourselves with a sincere reality check. How’s our house doing? On all levels.

Creation: Our stewardship is showing weakness as ecology groans under our constant demand and pressure.

Humanity: All God’s children. We’re not all doing okay. We’re only as strong as the weakest link, so we have work to do. I’m going to the Poor People’s Campaign: A Call for Moral Revival on Monday, and the theme is “Everybody’s Got a Right to Live.” It’s a reminder that education, a living wage job, housing, and income are things everyone needs to live. This is going to look differently around the world, but it’s how we express it here. I think we can all agree that education is power, and empowering people to live whole lives in their environs is transformational.

Nation: I just got back from traveling between nations, touching ground in England (albeit briefly), and traveling between Israel and Palestine. Coming home, I smell the sweet air and enjoy my place of privilege and power in the world. Yet within our nation, we’re wrestling with other nations, with peoples from other nations. As a US citizen, my leaders are identifiable by others. Are we a house united? How strong are we? Who do we consider allies? What motives govern us?

Community/work/tribe: So readily do we identify with people like ourselves, that our sense of community is often defined by where we live, with whom we work and associate. This is pretty selective, so this can be where we feel strongest. North of Nazareth is a place called Nazareth Ilit (i-l-i-t). Any time I had heard it mentioned, I thought they were saying “Nazareth Elite.” In a way, they were. I asked a cab driver what “ilit” meant. He didn’t define it for me, seeming to wrestle with the translation, but he told me it’s where the religious orthodox live, so where the rabbis and more conservative would live. It feels safe to surround hunker down in the security of “our people,” doesn’t it?

Family: God help us. Our families are complicated before we are born, so let’s just trust that dysfunction is the norm, and we all need Jesus in this department . . . and his family calls him the one who’s out of his mind!

Ourselves: Be gentle here. How’s your house, your self doing? Have you even checked in lately because there’s been so much attention at all the other levels? Ultimately, for each of us, all of the levels come to a fine point within us. How’s your heart? How’s your will? How firm is the foundation of your house? How great is your faith?

God bless you if you’re at 100%: I’ll sit down and listen at your feet. But I’m guessing that right now, we’re listening and praying together.

We see Jesus, followed by a crowd because he’s got it all together, and we want what he’s got. He’s showing us the way. At the leadership talk given this past week through the Head & Heart luncheon for the women’s shelter, Alex Cottrell from Milestone Leadership said the only way to break our own pattern of thinking, our perpetuation of our prejudices, is to surround ourselves with people different from ourselves. I don’t think Jesus had to worry about his prejudices much, but I think being surrounded by the imperfect, the disenfranchised–and seeking them out–kept our imperfection, our absolute need for grace ever-present. And we want/ need to keep seeing God’s work manifest before us. Jesus makes the whole unconditional-love-follow-God’s-will look easy. Everyone’s a beloved child of God, without boundary; they just have to believe to experience the love, liberation, and life God promises. All the levels are perfectly contained within the heart of Christ, the heart of God.

More often than not, Saul is more familiar to me. For him, I imagine, the notion of a human family is pretty abstract, as it’s easier to focus on God’s chosen people as the only ones who matter. We’re united as a people in one nation; our tribes are our community, identified in our work and where we live; and our birth families are so entwined with who we are in our place in our tribe that who I am as a person is pretty insignificant, unless I bring shame to my family. If something happens to disrupt the order in which I understand the world to work, it might be too much for me. I might hold onto my ego, my agenda, my worldview, even if God’s will and way are being revealed to me, and I might interpret my consequences as God’s punishment and disfavor. It’s easier to blame God and everyone and everything else than it is honestly to face the error of my ways.

Between Saul and Jesus Christ, we have the words of Paul coming to us: “do not lose heart.”

God gives Saul a new heart after he was anointed king, before he was proclaimed king to the people. On Saul’s way back home, we’re told in Ch. 10 that “As he turned away to leave Samuel, God gave him another heart” (1Sam 10:9). Don’t you know God knew Saul would need all the help he could get. Saul needed the power of God within him. Psalm 51 (v. 11) comes to mind for me: “Create in me a clean heart, O God,/and renew a right spirit within me.” If I’m going to do the work God has given me to do, I need a new, clean heart and a right spirit. I need to check myself to make sure my way forward isn’t obstructed by all the things I want or by all the things I don’t want to do.

What we don’t want to do is just as significant as what we don’t want. When Saul is going to be identified by Samuel to the tribes, he actually hides among the baggage or equipment. He’s tall, so for him not to be seen, he has to be crouching down, literally hiding. We do this, right: hide from that which we know we can do?

And I want to say that after his initial hesitation and rough start that Saul turned out to be a great king, thanks be to God, but that’s not how it goes. Saul never really gets out of his own way, never fully heeds the directions given him by God, and ultimately he loses God’s favor and grows in his jealousy of David. Maybe you know, too, that he takes his own life after being wounded in battle so that he doesn’t die at the hand of the enemy; at least, that’s what the text and commentary says.

In a week when suicides stream across headlines and tv banners, we must be cautioned not to over-simplify reasons why someone takes their own life. What we do know is that we have free will, and we don’t always choose the best path for ourselves. Paul’s words ring true to us, reminding us of the life, the house of grace we have through Christ that is unseen by our temporal sight but is eternal in our spiritual nature. That grace extends to all, “so we do not lose heart.”

If each of us have a heart touched by God and a conscience intent to align our will with God’s, that new world ordered by Love will be revealed, justice will roll down like water, and valleys will be made high and mountains low. That worldview from the heart of Christ will give us the mind of Christ, and we’ll be too busy loving our neighbor, blessing one another, sharing in our abundance, empowering one another to reduce ourselves creating barriers to stop the flow of God’s grace and love.

I can imagine this. I have hope. If I can imagine it, remember, then there’s still reason for hope. If I have love of God and neighbor at the front and center, then I can pretty sure that my will is aligned with God’s, and where there’s a will, God help us, there’s a way. Amen? It’s going to seem complicated at all levels, and it’s going to be disruptive. This is how we know we’re praying well, when the plans we make get caught up in the wind of Spirit and land back to us all disrupted and aligned with God’s will. But grounded in the presence of Christ, nothing feels stronger or more right, and we do not lose heart–it’s been given to us with grace and love.

Musings

Let Go

April 10, 2012 2 Comments

Often I think of the need to let go or the act of letting go. This afternoon I pondered that I have indeed let go – past tense.

I let go of some guilt (because I haven’t let go of it all, of course). I let go of some expectations (ditto not letting go of all). I let go of nearly all of my ideas of perfection (I’m trying, folks!).

When I let go, I find that I gain something else: a lot more breathing room. Each exhale, in fact, is a letting go of that which we don’t need; we need to exhale. All day and night, we are taking in thoughts, emotions, worries, anxieties, joys, etc. We take in so much. If you’re anything like me, eventually you have to step aside or sit down or go away for a while to let go, clear the mind, and breathe some fresh, clear air — in and out. It’s lovely to take in a deep breath, to let out a deep sigh. If I were better at letting go, each breath would be a new moment, not holding on to anything but keenly and mindfully observing that which is before me in that moment. (And maybe I wouldn’t sigh quite so deeply as often.)

To clear one’s mind doesn’t mean we rid ourselves of the lessons learned from our experiences, the wisdom of our lives, or the emotions we feel and have. We are very much of this life of ours, but we do not have to be so attached, clinging to it as if it were all that this life is about or as if someone could take it from us. Such dependency seems to me as if it boils down to fear. Being fully mindful and present, I believe we can open ourselves completely to the possibility of being in full connection with others. In a way, that means we become vulnerable, possibly losing ourselves into the whole. Is that a bad thing?

We have to let go. Let the children play on the big kids’ playground. Let our daughters go to the movies alone. Let the children out of our eyesight, even for an entire weekend. God grant me strength to let my children drive, fly, go to college, fall in love, be heartbroken, and discover themselves.

Mostly, though, I hope that I can let go enough to do my best, to love as deeply as I can, and to keep on breathing in all that is the blessed life of mine.

Self-preservation

Where I Put My Energy

February 9, 2011 No Comments

If I were to divide my day into percentages of where I put my energy, I might sound like a maid or a cook on the weekends, and I’d be a receptionist/admin during the week. That’s what is real for me right now. I have a family of six to tend to and a full-time job come weekdays.

It’s the other moments, though, that I have a choice over how to spend my energy. Some things have to be done, but I also have an inner child to indulge, a gift to cultivate, a calling to follow. Some things can’t be ignored.

So on snow days like this, I give thanks that I have the opportunity to catch up on laundry and housework, making sure the children are bathing. During last week’s snow days, I got caught up on some (not all) of my volunteer tasks.

I’ve also been doing some of the other things, the things I do for me. Like reading. Blogging. Cleaning up and clearing out some things that have been cluttered. Spending time with husband. Did I mention reading? Reading is a stimulus to me to write. I even chose not to finish a book because it wasn’t doing anything for me. I even got rid of half of my fabric stash because I don’t have time to create several pieced quilts. My time is precious. Every moment counts. Do the things I surround myself with contribute to a positive energy? Do I spend my time and energy wisely?

If I looked at my “free” time, did I spend it writing or cultivating my writing craft? If not, then can I honestly call myself a writer? This is no small pondering; this is serious.

Leave it to almost two feet of snow to cave me in with my thoughts and the freedom to choose how I will spend the day and night. Who will I choose to be in any given moment?

Where do you put your energy, and what does it say about you?

Relationships, Uncategorized

Point of Contact

July 16, 2009 No Comments

Walking in public places, do you notice the awkwardness of when to make contact with others? Should I look into their eyes? Smile? What if they look up just as I’m looking away? Should I send good energy their way or conserve?

Then I think about how ridiculous the whole concept is if, in fact, the energy isn’t mine to give but ours to share. I sense an obligation to make contact with others who participate in this life with me, as I participate in this life with them. I offer my smiles, my focus, even if it’s just a moment, as it usually is. Maybe that moment of contact, of relation, with all its sincerity and lack of expectation, can be like the butterfly in the chaos theory, changing the course of events for the better.

It only takes a moment to let someone know, “I hear you. I witness you here and now. You are not alone.”

In our Circle of Trust, during our small group time, we conclude each focus person’s time with “We hear you. We honor you. We bless you. We love you. We are blessed by you.” (something like that, anyway) And the miraculous thing is we really mean it. How often do you get to say these words and feel in your heart of hearts the deep connection? This practice is spreading into the rest of my life, opening my heart so that it’s not just those with whom I work closely that I feel a connection, that I experience a deep, genuine love. I daresay this practice of compassion is growing into Compassion.

There is no one point of contact, no quantitative measure of when and where to do this or that in society, regarding when to smile and/or make eye contact or not. It’s just as true to form not to make eye contact, so long as we feel the connection, honor the other and participate in our wholeness.

Your suffering is my suffering. Your joys are my joys. Your life is mine, as mine is yours. I bow to the Buddha in you as you see the Christ in me. Here we are, as One.

I hear you. I honor you. I bless you. I love you. I am blessed by you.

Spirituality

Who Are Your Heroes?

February 11, 2009 No Comments

Part of this blog is sharing my spiritual journey, lessons and discoveries. With me taking a spirituality-based class at church, we all have much to benefit. (for legality purposes, know that none of this information is used for or meant to be used for financial/personal gain)

From what I’ve gathered so far (not just from this class but from every spirituality book I’ve ever read), we have to sit in quiet — whether it is in zazen or contemplative prayer — for as long as we can each day. Sometimes three minutes is all we have. Mother Teresa would pray for four hours.

To figure out where you are going, you have to know who you are, who you are meant to be (which is who you are already but haven’t realized yet). The first part of the Journey to Authenticity class I am taking is about discovering your spiritual gifts. You have to have the right tools for the job, right? It’s good to have goals, to know where you’re headed.

The first exercise was this:

List at least 10 of your heroes/heroines. Don’t have heroes, per se? List people you greatly admire.

Underline 6 of those.

For each of those 6, list three characteristics that embody that person’s greatness to you.

For those 6, now describe more specifically how that person has exemplified, lived into and through those characteristics (i.e. Mother Teresa was compassionate, self-sacrificing, and wholly spiritual through her service to the poor, ultimately living into and through the will of God.)

Now, it’s best to do this kind of work in groups, to share with others your heroes, their descriptions. Many found, as they described those they admired, they were overcome with emotion. Sharing the descriptions of your heroes out loud/in writing helps more fully to revive those characteristics that speak to you.

The punch line, of course, is that these characteristics you admire are within you. These are you at your best. This is what you need to be doing to be living at full potential. This is a close glimpse of what God has in store for you.

Don’t believe it? Sit in silence/prayer a while each day and see what happens.

Peace be with you.

Life Lessons, Self-preservation

Outward Habits of an Inner Journey

September 29, 2008 No Comments

Driving through town, I look at every house that’s for sale, no matter what neighborhood or price range. Could I see myself living there? Would it be better than where we are now? And anything I see and think is beautiful, I ask myself if I could make it. Chances are that I could, if only I had the right tools.

Feeling the rhythmic tug of “gotta do something different,” I am forcing myself to face these behaviors within. Why do I do this? Is it healthy or beneficial, or am I just continuing a pattern of looking for happiness outside of myself?

As for the perpetual house-hunting, I figure part of that is that we don’t see the house we’re living in as our house we want our grandchildren to know. In five years, we hope to be building our eco-home, the home we’ll grow old in. Beyond that, however, I think it has to do with being comfortable with where I am in life. I’m not exactly where I think I should be, as ridiculous as that sounds, for where else is there to be but where you are?

I’m sure my friends will attest to the fact that I have some great supplies for sewing, pottery, card-making and gardening. I love all these things, but rarely make time for them (except for the occasional bursts of creativity which are shared here). If I need a tool or supply, I want to get as high quality as I can because it makes the task easier, right? Better? There is no substitute for time, effort and inspiration — the best tools out there.

So as I continue my inner work, taking classes like my Servant Leadership and working more in my journal, I hope to further deepen my awareness and move further into living into my true Self, being comfortable with where and who I truly am and with what I can best do.

After all, isn’t that what we’re all trying to do? I believe that would help me keep every day truly simple. We all need blessings on this journey!

Self-preservation

Boundaries

September 12, 2008 No Comments

For women, this topic is HUGE. Boundaries? What is this of which you speak?

As women, I feel there’s a general expectation that we are to be loving and compassionate to all, and little thought is given toward our personal, individual well-being. Champions are the women who sacrifice everything for the sake of others. Selfish snobs are those who have a defined sense of their personal space and time. Shame on us for letting such boxes be drawn.

For all that we do, may we do it with love, but may we first make sure there is love for ourselves. My work with Time for JOY has taught me that our offerings to others are more enriched if they come from someone who has nourished her own spirit. (After all, JOY stands for Jesus, Others, and Yourself.)

I just spoke with a friend moments ago who canceled an early-morning obligation because stress was rising too high. I had to commend her boundary-setting. I know how hard it is to say no. I don’t do it often enough; just ask my husband.

One of my fears of boundaries is that I will limit my ability to receive a true gift or <gasp> will let someone down. Other times I’m afraid that if I don’t do something for cause x, no one will.

Fortunately, I’m working through those apprehensions. I know that Spirit is stronger and smarter than me . . . and much more patient and persistent.

We do well to make sure that we are in a good place in every step. First, be healthy, strong and wise, and then give and grow. The cycle is something like that, right?

Have a wonderful weekend, and don’t forget to

For more information about BOLD events in Northwest Arkansas, visit BirthNetworkNWA‘s site.

Dreams, Spirituality

Falling into Reflection

September 10, 2008 No Comments

The air gets cooler every morning now, and while it’s not officially autumn yet, the leaves in places on our cherry tree are turning a deep red. Being a fall baby, I always feel like I’m coming home as it turns cooler and the skies are gray. It’s a time to be honest with myself and others, a great time for reflection.

In a dream night before last, I was talking with my midwives about my new pregnancy. (Just in the dream was I pregnant, so no one needs to get concerned about me having 5 kids!) Of course I’ll be having “pregnant” dreams now; I’ve just started two new journeys — one the women’s spirituality group (which meets Wednesday nights) and the other a Servant Leadership course (which meets Monday nights). Also right now we’re having rehearsals for the play “Birth” by Karen Brody for our local BOLD events. The time is ripe for potentiality even though the light will be less and the earth will be retreating into slumber. It’s a good time to go inward.

For a reality check, where are you in your journey of life, of spirit, of health? It’s time to be open to new discoveries, to be aware of what Spirit might reveal. O, if only that could be how I live every day!

Blessed be.

Life Lessons, Self-preservation

What’s Your Style?

August 22, 2008 No Comments

Can your friends and family see you coming from far away just by what you’re wearing? As soon as you start talking on the phone, does the person on the other end of the line know it’s you? Do people feel comfortable in your home, if for no other reason than because you are comfortable there?

You can take style surveys all day, but when it comes down to it, only you know what speaks to your soul. You know what makes you comfortable, what makes you feel like a queen, and only you know what makes you feel like . . . well, what makes you feel really badly. So, why waste your time? Rather, let’s take some time to find what echoes the sentiments that is the music of our being.

How? Here’s an example. Go through your closet. Are you really going to lose weight? Would you even wear that if you did? When’s the last time you wore it? If you didn’t wear it last season, you’re not going to wear it this one. Does it make you feel loved and beautiful? GIVE IT AWAY!!! You have to give to receive, and the more you do it, the easier it is. Now, when blessings and opportunities come your way, fill your closet only with what you truly need and only with items (from undergarments to clothes to shoes) that make your heart sing. Now, when you wake up in the morning, you’ll have lots to choose from, and you’ll be dressed in a style that suits you . . . if you’re honest with yourself. No one but you knows if you’re being truly honest, but everyone will know if you’re comfortable and confident.

When I was in high school, I bought Levi’s at a thrift store and packages of white pocket T-shirts. Jeans and T-shirts and Birkenstocks. That was my favorite outfit. Four kids later, I still love jeans and a white T, but jeans right now fit a little too snug at the waist. I feel more beautiful in a flowing skirt and pretty shirt, and I have a few other outfits I love. Comfort for me is key to my style, not fashion.

What about accessories? For me, I only have a few pairs of earrings, each with their own meaning and an energy they give me for that day. Every necklace that I’ve had and worn because it meant so much has broken or been broken. I figured I was too attached, and it was its own lesson. Everything we wear carries a message with it, offers a window into our being, even if on some days the meaning isn’t very deep (i.e., “these were on sale at the store and match this shirt”).

As for your personal life style, you know your disposition. Are you optimistic? Sincere? A pessimist? A cynic? Do you prefer Victorian or contemporary? Intelligent? Practical? A ditz? (I know, some days vary!) Do you reflect this in your voice, your expressions? I don’t have to ask if this plays into your relationships.

I’ve asked a lot of questions, but really there’s only one here. How well do we know ourselves? Our true self. The one that when you come to end of all your days, you know that this is who you are, who you’ve really been in every moment. May you live fully into that being. Can we be so honest with ourselves?

Philosophy, Spirituality

Life Is But a Dream

July 2, 2008 No Comments

My husband shared a poem with me referenced in a Zen book he liked very much by Charlotte Joko Beck called Nothing Special: Living Zen. It’s a poem by WH Auden:

We would rather be ruined than changed

We would rather die in our dread

Than climb the cross of the moment

And let our illusions die.

Searching for the poem, I found that it is often quoted, for motivational purposes, Zen talks and literary purposes, to name a few. Perhaps I’ve heard or read it before myself. But I believe that important words cross our paths at different points in our life with particular relevance. Last week, it might not have spoken to me in the way it did today, and it may not reverberate for me next month, either. So this day, how is it significant for me? Does it speak to you, too?

I think I have made great strides in accepting change, facing death. Something happens every day where I have a choice to be bull-headed and go forward with my horns or let the ego die another death, take another blow. Of course, some times it’s easier than others to take the proverbial higher road, but that isn’t always the case.

There are changes I still want to make, changes that my ego isn’t prepared for and is applying all resistance toward. My illusions hold strong, my dread ever present. I want to have what I have, live the way I live, says one part of me. You don’t need all this, for there is a better way to live, more healthy, less debt and attachments, says the other. I don’t think I need to emphasize which part represents which. This dichotomy epitomizes many of my struggles, grand epic battles that are seemingly brought up weekly if not daily.

I daresay that when people (including myself) talk about true balance, what we might mean is a balance of the inner struggles, a balance between mind, body and soul. Complete harmony, I would imagine, would be a balance between the three yet where the mind doesn’t represent the “i” ego but the true I, the Self. Your balance, your harmony, is possible because you have let go of your illusions, experience the moments for what they are, accepting at once your limitations and infinite possibilities and potentialities. Ah, isn’t it pretty to think so?

Our lives are mere dreams when we live enshrouded in our illusions, living solely in the mirror. When we can let go of what we think we see and live here and now, we dare to live this life for what it is — the real thing.

Feel free to comment, share your thoughts and experiences, even disagree if you feel so inclined. Blessed be.