If ever I thought that gumption traps were only for those things that I loathed to do . . . I may have been on to something.
For a moment I thought my current state of discombobulation resulted from a procrastination of that which I am thoroughly excited about and looking forward to. Alas, getting to the end involves some steps in between, little steps that must be made like outlines and timelines and trips to the store. Then there’s also the messy phases (where the lack of knowledge is discovered or the dust is revealed) before everything is neatly packed and ready for the next phase.
I am holding on and find myself in another trap.
Not all traps are unpleasant, mind you, just as not all ruts are mucky. There’s something to be said for comfortable routines, predictable leisure, familiar surroundings. Then Change comes along, perhaps accompanied by Opportunity, and suddenly nothing is as it “should” be. Heaven forbid we try to straighten everything while the very foundation continues to shake. Again, there’s that rumble in my gut.
Even my subconscious knows growth is happening. At my core, I know it to be good. There just seems to be another layer to be cracked, even if it’s just a little membrane to split open, before the genuine excitement and sheer enthusiasm can kick in, before the roots grow deep and the branches flower.
Of course, it may not happen soon. There may be much to hold the layer firm. Eventually, though, it will. I’m not one to hold back for long. Nature will have its way.
So, be still, my beating heart. Sigh deeply. Smile. Let the work begin. There never was a trap, just a choice to be made.