A busy day all around, and driving home in the dark, I realize I’ve missed my kids.  Lots of good work done during the day, lots of love and laughter shared, but I miss those waiting for me at home.  Knowing that a taste of chaos awaits me, with all of one hour to have the kids fed and in bed, I also know I don’t have time to make dinner.

At least it’s half-price burger night at Sonic.  Four burgers + two fries = 5 hungry bodies fed for under $15.  Plus, I don’t have to cook and can make the conference call.  I know.  We cringe at the thought of what the “beef” might include, but we don’t do this terribly often.  Well, maybe more often than I’d like to admit . . .

Sitting at the table, realizing this is the first glass of water I’ve had all day, I notice our icon in the middle of the table.  A family-size bottle of ORGANIC ketchup.  Yep.  Sonic on our plates, served with a side of organic ketchup.

I let the kids excitedly talk to me all at once.  I feel too much caffeine pulsing through my system.  Somehow I manage to get three of four kids in bed while participating in the conference call.  I love my family.

It’s the effort that counts, right? 

A friend of ours has neighbors who just opened a skating rink here in town, and would we like to join him for a skating and pizza party?  It’s one of those things that didn’t fit in our schedule, but I made it work.  Yes, we would love to.

While husband took the older kids to piano, I took the younger two to Starlight Skatorium.  After visiting with our dear friend, I spent what seemed like 20 minutes getting skates on the two restless ones and then crammed my feet into skates, too.

Oh.  My.  Goodness.

My six-year-old took off onto the rink, straight out into the flow of traffic, and then turned to move against the flow!  It was painful to watch, and I gave thanks that the place wasn’t busy, being a Wednesday night.  I couldn’t yell at him over the loud music — not that he would have listened to me anyway. He crawled part of the way to the middle of the rink.  I just had to wish him luck as I turned my attention to my three-year-old whom I was holding up on skates.  We made it a sixth of the way around the rink (basically to the next exit opportunity) before she was done.  I have to admit I was grateful because I wasn’t sure my core and arms could have made it all the way, either!  While taking off her skates, my 6yo reappeared and informed me he was done, too.

Are you sure?

Yes!

Skates off, it was time for Sprite and pizza, a double treat.  I had yet to make it around the rink myself.  Would I even be able to do it, or would I end up busting my butt?  The older kids arrived after lessons, ready to don their skates.  Of course now the younger two were ready again.  Another 20 minute venture.  Fortunately, I had just kept my skates on.

I suppose I fully embraced the craziness of it all.  Now I had four kids on skates. I let them drink soda and have carry-out pizza for dinner.  Hubby had another appointment, so I was skating solo.  Could I have done this even with one child eight years ago?  Probably not.

I realize that to some, I probably seemed like the 6yo jumping out into the middle of the rink, full of adventure, a devil-may-care attitude . . . sheer audacity. With the two older kids warming up to making it all the way around the rink and the other two using the skate-helpers to roll down an entrance ramp, I finally got to make a couple of rounds myself, totally recalling memories of my younger days.  Skating to loud music, disco lights, hokey-pokey, and 50s dress-up contests.  Good times (even though one time cost me a front tooth!).  Sometimes we just have to let go and enjoy the moment for what it is, trusting that all is well.

I hope our audacity continues to enrich our lives.

After a rare full day of snow, we couldn’t stay inside.  Unfortunately, no sticky snow with which to get too creative, but there’s lots of lovely powder to play in!

Crepe myrtles galore.

Thank goodness no metal poles in sight!

"I wasn't just getting icicles off the roof." Yeah, right!

Amazing the difference from last weekend when she was sick in bed.

Our handsome Bodhi joining the fun.

Not one of mine, but a friend snowed in with us.

I didn't mean to hit her in the face with a snowball . . . her brother moved!

Yes, he's eating it.

His face matches what he told his dad the other day: "I don't like this planet!"

Yes, she's eating it, too.

There is something magical about the white blanket . . .

. . . and a silent stillness to be observed and respected, after spreading a little seed for those chirping and singing in the chilly air.

We had barely pulled into the bank drive-through when my daughter behind me started asking for a sucker in her croaky, congested voice.  I couldn’t help but smile because she sounded so cute — a survival of the species tactic.  Fortunately, my maternal sense kicked in.

“Suckers are full of sugar, and sugar is not good for you when you’re sick,” I told her.

“I’m not sick, Mom,” she said slowly, deliberately, downright emphatically.

I tried not to laugh out loud.  After I made my deposit, I gave her the little dum-dum.

“Of course you’re not, sweetheart,” I told her, and I decided to hope that at least for a little while she would stop coughing and make herself well by sheer virtue of will.

With her strong will, anything’s possible.

I was trying to sit and help my eldest study for the upcoming spelling bee. Everything has felt like an effort these past couple of days, and add to that the fact that it’s after eight and in the bedtime hour. My second oldest tells us he still has homework to do, and his chores still aren’t done. Everyone seems to be a whir of activity.

The child who is supposed to be washing his lunch dishes comes running through the living room to the piano, but the water is still running in the kitchen sink.

“What are you doing?!” I practically yell at him. Maybe he’s just letting the water get hot, I try to rationalize to myself.

“I’m doing two things at once because you are all telling me to do everything,” he replies, exasperated at best, still moving, straightening up his piano things.

Alas, I feel I’ve not done a good job this day. My nine-year-old feels the need to multi-task. God bless him, the boy is as slow as Christmas and has a hard time focusing on doing one task, let alone three or more.  Often, I have to write a list out just so he knows what he needs to do, and even that can mean a day-long commitment.

Why do we have so much to do? I wonder. So much laundry. So many dishes. So much house to clean (and we’re not in an extremely large house by any means for a family of 6). So much work to be done.

I remind myself that these are the ropes. Sometimes you swing high. Sometimes you swing low. It helps keep things in perspective because as soon as I think this, I remember how grateful I am that we have all we do. We are richly blessed.

We have to be careful, though, of how much of our time we spend in the absent-minded state of doing, doing, doing. Am I showing my kids how I do motherhood, or am I showing them how to be a mother?  Am I teaching them that the only way they will get anything accomplished is if they run themselves into the ground 24/7, or am I showing them that it really is about one’s quality of being that is of utmost importance.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what I’ve said if I haven’t lived it.  I would have rather heard my son tell me he’s done his best this day to do what he can.  I would rather have seen a sleepy, contented smile on his face than the tired, sad eyes that were giving up on his homework.

When the tooth fairy visits tonight, I hope she brings another friend with a magic wand to wave over us all renewal, confidence and peace.  We’ll start again fresh in the morning light.

My husband put on his Facebook post, “HOW TO: Have four sick kids at once.  1) Have four kids.  2) Have one of the four kids be sick.  3) Mix well on a snow day.”  The next day, naturally, he had to post a “how to have a sick dad.”  The positive side is that at least the kids haven’t missed the whole week due to sickness, and there may be a snow day tomorrow as well.

As mothers, there’s a sickness regimen I think we develop for ourselves.  Healthy food, limit sugar, lots of tea/water, naps, clean/disinfect.  Perhaps the universe is reminding me that this is of utmost importance in our daily round, not just when the kids are sick.  I say this because my focus this week has been on being productive and taking my “work” seriously.

Fortunately, I have the time to spend with my family.  We are here together and somehow seem to have the means to provide, thanks be to God.  As I strive to check items off my list today, I’ll try to remember what will help keep us healthy individually and as a family.

I’m just sad it’s too cold outside to play!  We may have to make an exception to the sugar rule for some homemade cookies. 

Many thanks to my German friend for introducing my family to the advent calendar even before we fully embraced the tradition.  This year, however, I came up with something each day for the children to do before they get their daily treat.  Sundays are busy for us, so I decided to make use of the Christmas cookie sheet molds I received as a gift and make tasty sugar cookies as a treat for all.

Advent is a season of waiting, of preparation.  I also think it’s a time of excitement, merriment to be spent with family and friends, not without consideration of those in need.  Of course, I encourage you to make your own list, but to jump-start your brainstorm, here’s our list, some names removed.

May your December start with a heaping of kindness.

1. Do a kindness for a sibling.

2. Donate clothes to shelter.

3. Send a letter to a friend.

1. Make sure the house is especially clean.

2. Be kind to your Dad.

1. Happy St. Nicholas Day!!!

2. Make cards for teachers.

3. Do a chore not on your list.

4. Help Mom prepare Christmas cards.

5. Draw a picture for a grandparent.

6. Spend 5 minutes in prayer before school.

7. Give thanks outdoors! Play outside if you can.

8. Enjoy your cookie!

9. Call Grandma and Uncle.

10. Mark cards for a nursing home.

11. Call Grandma and Uncle.

12. Call Grandpa and Papa.

13. Call Nana&Papa and Cousin.

14. Call Godparents.

15. Enjoy your cookie!

16. Get thank-you notes ready.

17. Spend 30 minutes in prayer.

18. Do something kind for Alexander; it is his birthday.

19. Help Mom in the kitchen.

20. Merry Christmas! Rejoice!

My youngest and her equally young friend pick raspberries in the autumn wind and sun, bundled in their jackets, their hands turning red.  Of course, on their return inside, there’s a heap of jackets, socks and shoes near the rocking chair/climbing gym.

My boys and their friend huddle around their DSes, plotting, sharing and exclaiming together as new levels are achieved.  A day home from school means anything can happen.  Today I’ll witness them conquer new worlds.

My oldest retreats to her room.  A house full of young ones is not her ideal.  Weeks can be stressful, especially when one has to balance living in the world with an old soul in a young body.  I should know.  She asked almost pleadingly if she could play on her DS today, too . . . after chores, of course.  I agreed.

Tonight we jump-start the Halloween celebration by dressing in costume and going to a classical concert of “spooky” music.  Tomorrow we celebrate a birthday, All Hallow’s Eve and our friendships at a couple of Halloween parties.  But as my husband remarked, we should celebrate the kids, with the kids, this weekend.  After he attended the three parent-teacher conferences, he was reminded (and thus reminded me) how wonderful our children are, how blinded we can be by being with them so much and getting muddled in the day-to-day routines.  This weekend, we celebrate.

And as their mother, I should never forget how holy each day is that I see the joy in their eyes, the fragility of their person,  the Light in their lives.  Whether we  birth our children in body or heart, whether they are with us in body or spirit, these things among many are what a mother should never forget.

With a heart full of Love, I give thanks.

Yesterday morning started with the normal frenzy of a young family household getting three kids ready for school and then a mom trying to decide which thing to do first, followed by a slew of other things.  I let my three-year-old determine the first course of action.  She wanted to go to the gym to see a friend; I knew I needed to go to the gym.

Ironically, I sat on the stationary bike reading in preparation for a class I’m leading today.  The topic:  HeartMath, compassion, patience, changing my concept of time, being fully present.  My legs pedaled along, my eyes moved forward, and I tried to sit quietly, absorbing my reading.  I appreciated the irony of my multi-tasking.

My three-year-old changed my course, again, as she decided to go home with a friend.  Suddenly, my morning opened even more.  Pottery?  Writing?  Sewing?  What to do next on my own.

I had told a friend we would come play, but now I was alone.  I called her anyway, and found her scurrying to clean before her mom showed up.  But her toddler insisted upon being carried.  I found myself volunteering to come help her clean for a bit; I’d still have time to go home and do something before my afternoon appointments.

At my friend’s house, rather than cleaning, I was asked to hold the toddler.  He melted into my arms and chest and soon fell asleep.  All I had to do was hold him.  All I had to do was be calm and still.  I was given time to sit, holding that precious reminder that children bring us just to be.  My friend got to clean without an aching back, and I got time to be still, snuggling with her warm babe.  I left not long before her mom arrived to a house mostly restored.

I didn’t have time to go back to my own home, but I did have time for coffee and a snack at another friend’s house.  I arrived at my afternoon meetings peaceful and present.

Maybe I should let my youngest help me make decisions more often.  Maybe I just need more time to sit.

Thanks be to the children.