Begin Again

The air turns and with it the energy coursing through my being.  On cue with the holiday weekend, a fresh wind arrived.  Hello.  Work a while.  Rest deeply.  Wake up.  Begin again.

As a fall child, it’s nearly my season.  While the earth begins to retreat, surrendering to winter’s death, my soul awakes to a time of reflection and assessment.  I’m probably better at fall cleaning than spring cleaning.

I’m in process right now.  In the process of raising kids and paying off debt.  In the process of determining my chosen career path.  In the process always of living into the person who will most please God, like the good child that I am.

My husband asked, “What if my purpose is to raise four extraordinary kids?” Is it bad or wrong just to make the money to pay for their activities, to pay off the debt so we can afford their education?  That sounds okay to me, so long as he has no residual regrets, no deeper inner longing to do/be something/someone else.  There are the hobbies that fill the time with nurturing intellect, adventure, appetite, and curiosity, too. No dull moment would be had.

What if my purpose is to go into a field that broadens my concept of family?  My toughest training ground is my immediate family and debt.  We are growing, and we are working through this.  Our kids are truly amazing, and I look forward to seeing all that they will accomplish in this life, what they bring and will bring to those fortunate to be around them.  (May the kids be ever-blessed.)

I am and ever will be a mother, and if so-called, I will do my best to serve as a mother in the Church.

As I clear the calendar to reflect what is most important, I see the days and evening still full.  As I clean the house, taking out the excess, I realize we still have abundance though the flow is more tranquil.

The work continues, and I’m sure it will every day I draw breath.  WIth guidance, strength, and perseverance, may we journey on.  May our work be good and our days and nights blessed.


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