Day 14

Apparently I’ve given myself permission not to be consecutive.  Also, I must have forgiven myself for being an over-achiever.  I’m allowing myself to rest more these days.  Of course, now I feel cautious because the last time I was fully aware of the luxuriousness of my “free” time, it was right before I began working full-time outside of the home.  I know I have hard work ahead of me.  If we continue to grow, don’t we all have work to do?  That doesn’t mean it has to be awful, it just means we have to put some energy into it . . . and not into the junk that wastes our time.  (I’m pretty sure that watching Glee isn’t in my top 10 nourishing things to do, though it is mindlessly entertaining.)

I had a dream the other night about moving a part of the lawn and garden at this house, presumably ours, and finding where the chickens had built a nest in the trees/shrubbery above our heads.  There were nine eggs.  Some got broken, but I was tickled to find them.  It was about twilight, just before dark.

Eggs to me symbolize fertility, potential.  The #9 means something, too.  (In India’s numerology, the #9 sounds like it fits me to a tee!)

A month ago in this place, I felt rather unstable, insecure.  Now at least I feel I can breathe.  It could be that school is starting.  Mostly, though, it feels like faith.  Everything is working out.  Energy is still moving – forward, even.  We will be okay.

This doesn’t mean I don’t feel like a failure as a mom.  I’m selfish with my time, but if I didn’t take time apart, I would be worse.  Life, in general, could be so much worse.

Thank you for seeing us through our lives, for providing enough and more.  I am immensely grateful for the beautiful people in my life.

All thanks, honor, and glory to YOU!

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