There is a charm in planning out a week, having a shopping day, a wash day, cleaning day, etc.  Somehow, though, it seems like that system would just not work at all for my family.  Do many still have such a method?  How, I wonder, could it work for this family of six?

Then I realize, of course, that it depends upon simplicity.  When you have closets and drawers full of clothes, it takes more effort to keep them washed and put away.  With so much stuff, it takes more effort to keep it tidy and dusted.  With one person trying to keep up after herself and five others, the work becomes insurmountable.  I’d like to say I have a system, but my “system” barely keeps me afloat.  At least three loads of laundry per day.  At least one dishwasher full and some time for the hand-washable dishes.  Run-throughs at least twice a day to tidy.  A good day will see some sweeping and a quick vacuum.  (Did I mention a cat and a dog, too?)

But those are just daily chores.  What about the bouts of creativity?  Daughter would like a cover for her DS.  Sewing projects abound to be finished.  Christmas gifts?  Pottery bowls?  Twenty-four hours per day.

A couple of fellow moms lately have called me a super-mom.  Don’t be fooled, I warn them.  I may do much, but never all at the same time.

And today I have a home day . . . at least for the first half.  I have to balance what must be done with what I feel needs to be done to maintain that mysterious balance.  It does involve enlisting the help of minors in the cleaning department.

We can only do so much, but all must be done with a happy heart.

We spend so much of our time planning ahead.  Our calendars fill up.  Money is spent before it’s received.  Our vacation is gone before it’s even begun.  Or, we spend much of our time living in the past.  We should’ve/could’ve done this or that.  Did we make the right decision?  I didn’t mean what I did or said.

Then we get those moments where we can be fully present.  We hold the child in our lap, singing her softly to sleep.  We hold the hand of our dying grandpa.  We feel the cool water running over our feet.  We listen.  We feel.  And deep in our hearts we know there’s no other place to be, nothing else we should be doing.  This moment is worth being in now, and we will have no regrets.

Is it the Tibetan monks who have the practice or mantra about dying every morning?  If we all awoke daily with an acceptance of death, would we live differently?  Life happens, often despite our better plans, and truthfully, death happens, too.  We do have a beautiful cycle.  We just also have a tendency to muck it up.

To “go with the flow” sounds cliche these days, but I keep reminding my children to do just that.  Sometimes we have to do that which we don’t want to do.  Our responsibilities often take precedence over play time, but we can’t let them always spoil the fun.  We have to go with the flow, ride the rapids and sometimes shake things up a bit.

Ironically, after accepting death we realize that we can more fully live.

Walking in public places, do you notice the awkwardness of when to make contact with others?  Should I look into their eyes?  Smile?  What if they look up just as I’m looking away?  Should I send good energy their way or conserve?

Then I think about how ridiculous the whole concept is if, in fact, the energy isn’t mine to give but ours to share.  I sense an obligation to make contact with others who participate in this life with me, as I participate in this life with them.  I offer my smiles, my focus, even if it’s just a moment, as it usually is.  Maybe that moment of contact, of relation, with all its sincerity and lack of expectation, can be like the butterfly in the chaos theory, changing the course of events for the better.

It only takes a moment to let someone know, “I hear you.  I witness you here and now.  You are not alone.”

In our Circle of Trust, during our small group time, we conclude each focus person’s time with “We hear you.  We honor you.  We bless you.  We love you.  We are blessed by you.”  (something like that,  anyway)  And the miraculous thing is we really mean it.  How often do you get to say these words and feel in your heart of hearts the deep connection?  This practice is spreading into the rest of my life, opening my heart so that it’s not just those with whom I work closely that I feel a connection, that I experience a deep, genuine love.  I daresay this practice of compassion is growing into Compassion.

There is no one point of contact, no quantitative measure of when and where to do this or that in society, regarding when to smile and/or make eye contact or not.  It’s just as true to form not to make eye contact, so long as we feel the connection, honor the other and participate in our wholeness.

Your suffering is my suffering.  Your joys are my joys.  Your life is mine, as mine is yours.  I bow to the Buddha in you as you see the Christ in me.  Here we are, as One.

I hear you.  I honor you.  I bless you.  I love you.  I am blessed by you.

Some days we really do feel like we got up on the wrong side of the bed.  Our outlook on life is upside down.  Anyone could look our way and risk gettng growled at.  Some days are just like that.  Truth be told, they don’t have to be, and just because they start that way, it doesn’t mean it has to continue that way.

I wanted to get up at 6:30 this morning and work out in the yard and garden.  I wanted to get the yard mowed.  Apparently it wasn’t meant to be.  My body wants to rest.  I took the kids to the park . . . again.  I’m sitting down to write a bit.  I’ll make the kids lunch versus getting something to-go.  It will benefit us all if I find what the source of my discord is and remedy it.  At least I should gently ride this wave through and try not to pull anyone down in the process.

Lot of fresh air.  More water.  Healthy food.  Laughter.  Love.

I visited with my grandmother yesterday and briefly with my grandpa whose health is deteriorating.  July 4th is my grandma’s birthday, but her party plans got rearranged a bit.  So, I brought card, gift, and welcome distraction to her.  I told her we were her comedic relief.  Funny thing is, I needed it, too, but probably not as much as she did.  My grandma is one of those treasures who make you feel like you’re the most special person in all the world.  I only hope she knows how special she is.  It’s hard caring for someone you love, helpless to take away their ills.  Sometimes the miracle is our constant love.

What ails me doesn’t seem like that big of a deal anymore.  My life is rich and full of vitality.  I can accept my bad mood, offer it to the sun, and water myself with compassion.

Yesterday, our sermon at church focused on Paul admitting his weaknesses.  We were reminded that it is most often in our weakest moments that we are gifted with an unforeseeable strength, a great wisdom beyond our own being.

Mass media doesn’t follow this line of thinking.  If people are weak, it’s usually because they’re ignorant or strung out or because they’re in a third-world country and need our financial support.  Either way, it’s in our “best” interest if we keep doing what we’re doing to get better, faster, more and then give a little bit of what we’ve gained, if we choose to.

There’s no doubt in my mind that there are some serious changes that need to happen in our way of thinking and doing.  How about we change the mind-set to realizing that people who are weak are so because they either prohibit themselves from seeing the potential within or they have been so abused in this life mentally, physically, and/or emotionally, that they cannot see the good inherent within.  Inner-city or rural America to poorest of the poor third-world country, we are human.  We have been gifted with life, free will and potential.

Some of us do have more resources than others, but throwing money at situations hasn’t proven to be most beneficial.  Lynn Twist in The Soul of Money points out that during her time working with The Hunger Project, the best outcomes came when the people in a tribe or community were given an audience, able to share their own ideas on how to fix a problem (as in how to best obtain a water supply) and then given help to obtain the resources to make their vision a reality.  The people had accountability and responsibility in the outcome.  They did not become addicts to handouts, further debilitated by a lack of sense of self-worth.

Blessed are the weak?  Yes.  We are all weak.  We all need to experience and face our weaknesses.  Only when our egos are weakened can we realize that our strength is not ours alone.  When we can surrender to that which is greater than we ever imagined, can we tap into true potential.  When we are truly weak and honest, we can reach out for help, with humility, but hopefully also with a determination to particiapte with and through that strength I like to call Spirit.  In the best of circumstances, there are others who are also participating in the Spirit, and we can experience the work of the collective.

Blessed are the weak?  Yes.  It is the weak who actually have the opportunity to realize how truly strong they are, if only they surrender long enough to see it, to hear it.  And if the weak are to survive, they have to be seen and heard by others who also know Truth.

To have just one life seems an awful waste of resources, and if our souls are eternal, wouldn’t that make heaven an awfully crowded space?  No one thinks of the New York subway at rush hour traffic on the other side of the pearly gates.

My husband and I have diverse interests, but I don’t think I could list all of our hobbies or to-do-wish-list on my fingers and toes.  Reincarnation offers me the solace that even if I don’t get to do something in this life, then I’ve either already done it in the past and enjoyed it so much I wanted to do it again, or I will get another chance down the road.

But that doesn’t mean I can or should live this life with reckless abandon or numbing apathy.  After all, I do want to move forward or higher in the next life.  To do so, my humble take is that I need to live as fully in compassion and wholeness as possible.  What does this mean?  I need to live balanced, engaged, passionately, compassionately, and honestly.  I need to take some of the contemplative practices to heart, listen to the wisdom gained and live with a happy heart, doing that which brings joy to myself and good to others.  Can life be so simple?  Of course, but we always have the option to screw it up, plug in our own selfish desires, put others down and not listen to our true heart of hearts.

It’s simple, but not easy.  Even if we know what we might be called to do in this one life, it might only complicate things.  Things might be going one direction, and we receive a detour.  Why? we might ask.  Maybe we’re ready for something new.  Maybe we’ve received the wisdom we need to make it on the new path.

Just because this is one life doesn’t mean we’ll always just be doing one thing.  I think most any mother will tell you she is definitely a Mother, probably a Wife, too, but she could be called something else as well.  Director.  Artist.  Midwife.  Philanthropist.  Social Justice Worker.  CEO.  Teacher.  Priest.  Nurse.  The list inevitably goes on and on.

What do you choose in this one life?  Will you leave a leagacy behind you?  The way I see it, if we leave a legacy of love, especially with our children, then we have lived this life well.

I’ve mentioned before some tools for the spiritual journey.  Though I focus on spirituality, there’s no intent to alienate one from using these tools to get centered, feel focused and be grounded.  Contemplation is most often associated with spirituality, but that’s not all.  According to Merriam-Webster:

Contemplation:  1 a: concentration on spiritual things as a form of private devotion b: a state of mystical awareness of God’s being 2: an act of considering with attention : study 3: the act of regarding steadily 4: intention, expectation

A friend and former teacher posted a link on his Facebook page that led to this wonderful Tree of Contemplative Practices* by The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society, a result of a survey as part of research from 2001-2004.

I pass this along that it might enrich your life, open up new doors of opportunity for you.  Maybe you already have your favorites but would like to add another facet to your experience.  Are you doing any movement?  Don’t be afraid to try something new.  If you want to know who you are, what you really think, these practices can help you find the truth.

*If you choose to share this image with others, please follow the term of use, as this s a copyrighted image.

Sometimes when there’s so much to be said, it’s better to be quiet.  Sometimes if we wear our heart on our sleeves, it’s best to wear a jacket.  I suppose for a while I haven’t been blogging because what’s going on inside is personal, huge and . . . well, a big deal to me.

But what we don’t say can allow space for others to hear something else.  This can be good or bad, and one’s intent makes all the difference.  I hope others take time to hear their inner voice, to listen to what is being offered.  I’ve been trying to do a lot of listening lately.  My friends will probably attest to the fact that I’ve done plenty of talking, too.  Writing, though, helps me get to the heart of the matter most quickly, which is probably why I’ve been avoiding it.

What is best for me?  What am I willing to do . . . for myself, for others?

My listening these days has some to do with what is good for me.  I trust that if it’s good for me, it benefits those around me.  This takes some getting used to and much compromise.  I also have to be very careful about the delicate balance in the dance of relationships.  It’s not just about priorities.  I’ve come to believe that of course we have priorities, but it’s not as simple as that.

As ever, I have my work cut out for me and hopefully lots of time to practice listening, being and doing.