Especially as mothers, we have a way of making things difficult. In moments where all we need is clarity of purpose, we remember, as a friend of mine recently did, that we just have to make sure our kids stay alive, preferably safe and secure as well. To this, however, we add layers of cleanliness, thriving, excellence . . . overall perfection in all areas.
This perfectionism invades all areas of our lives. We create for ourselves an inner censor that reminds us every time we visualize a goal that we probably won’t/can’t/shouldn’t do it and points out that we can’t/don’t achieve what is perfect. I am completely projecting here. This is one aspect of my personal censor.
I recently did an exercise where I had to describe my censor, sketch a cartoon of her. I highly recommend this. Remember, if you can name it, you can know it, and you can see how truly ridiculous it is.
In another exercise where I had to describe who I am (from the third person), my inner critic appeared again. In everything I want, in all I do, I will never be good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, etc., etc. My strong, true inner voice immediately countered. Of course Sara’s not perfect, but God is. If all I am is a channel for God’s love, then that’s good enough. There’s nothing more perfect than that.
So, in all things, in all aspects of life, all I have to do is live, believing that to Love is my purpose and living into that purpose. This is clarity. When I close the door to this love, I mess up. This is part of suffering. I can even lock the door and keep it closed, but I always have the key, no matter how hard it might be to find.
We need to remind each other of this sometimes, remind each other that our jobs are really quite simple. We are all called to love and to serve, with gladness and singleness of heart.