Our heating unit has been sporadic at best, so at night we make sure the kids are dressed warmly and snuggled underneath layers of sheet, quilt, comforter and random blankets. This night in particular, I knelt beside our youngest one’s bed. She was too fussy to cradle hold and rock and sing to sleep, so I tucked her in, topped off with her “baby” and hummed softly.
Her eyes blinked slowly, heavily, for just a few moments before closing for sleep, but she reached her arm out toward me and felt my hand lying nearby. By this time the cat had joined us, purring warmly, deeply, as a black cat does.
Autumn rested her hand in mine, and I let the energy flow back and forth between us. I was letting go of my crap from the day, hoping it was going somewhere else than to her. I sent up a prayer that I needed Divine Love to flow into her. I was empty. I just wanted to be a channel. I didn’t have to be the wonderful mother I always hope to be; I just wanted her to receive and be filled with Love that was greater than us both.
Through our hands, I wanted her to experience love. In that warmth I hope she felt the comfort of what I call Christ’s love, though you can call it Love or Grace or any other name. To even give it a name is limiting what it really is, for in truth, it can only be experienced.
Exchanging this type of love doesn’t have to be between a mother and child or even between just family and friends. Every time we shake hands, offer a smile or look sincerely into another’s eyes, we have to potential to exchange the energy of unconditional Love. It’s all about intention and surrender. Sometimes it’s easier when we already feel beaten and exhausted. When we feel like we’re at the top of our game, when our ego is doing just fine, it’s easy to believe we’ve got it all under control.
As much as I hate to admit it, I appreciate the lessons that show me I have little control in this life. There are forces greater than me at work. The best I can do is be the conduit for the Love that binds us all.
I am grateful to my little one for giving me a glimpse of that this night.