The wonderful thing about journaling, about writing for where you are in life at the moment, is that you can reflect on where you’ve come from, see if your thoughts are well-founded, see if your visions come true. I wrote this entry almost two years ago. Our sidewalk ended. We leaped into the grassy field and wandered and faltered until we’ve eventually come back to where we were before. Our gains were in experience and life lessons. We’re still walking. How does your path go?
Visiting with an acquaintance at the grocery store, catching her up on our goings-on, I found a good description for where we are right now. “It’s like we’re right here where the sidewalk ends, and it’s going to take a leap of faith” to determine which path we make for ourselves. So here we are. Brace yourself.
For some reason, things have to come in clusters for us. Having a baby would be enough excitement, but we also chose to homeschool the same year, build a bread oven in the backyard (starting right around the due date), and change jobs — the latter being the main reason the sidewalk ends. Our path has never really been the well-maintained, paved walkway, more the broken, uneven, weedy, less-traveled path anyway. However, now for some reason, my husband feels compelled to leave the corporate realm he’s been a part of since we’ve been married. He, too, seeks authenticity, and I admire that. He’s also the monetary provider for our livelihood, though, and there are quite a few of us these days to feed, making his decisions weighty. Before truly following his dreams, we have to make sure there are assets, something to rely on to pay the bills. It will take time, a transition period, perhaps, that will be less corporate but still techy.
Responsibility doesn’t have to mean certain doom. We can have our families and our dreams; it just takes some juggling, fine-tuning and budgeting (in most cases). I know I can’t afford a housekeeper, baby-sitter and all the craft supplies I want! I can keep journals, especially ones that honor my ideas and dreams. I can carve out time for me on good days. We can take our kids to events we feel passionate about or at least take turns going. When need be, time will be spent to provide the monetary necessities. Interestingly enough, we can create money.
When we are in a good balance, the Universe has a way of providing. So here where even our rough old sidewalk ends and we have to jump to our next path — probably the dirt trail through the grassy field and shady wood — we have to be balanced before we can thrive, and we have to trust ourselves and the Universe to support our decisions. Everything will fall into place. May the Universe Shower blessings and creativity upon us just as the Leonids shower the heavens. I may not be able to see them clearly because of the huge clouds in the way, but I know they’re there. When we are in vulnerable times in our lives, I believe it is ultimately important to listen to the still small voice that offers guidance, gives creative ideas, tells you to rest or to work. We all need Divine help to find balance, and it’s a lot easier to jump if we feel we’re going in the right direction. We do love our walks in the woods, and I’m loving my abundance of creative energy — it may just provide the bridge or net we need right now.