Overcoming a Sense of Failure

Let it suffice to say some of  us have tough days, days when it seems the kids would be better off with someone else, days when you wonder if a dog for a Nana would really work . . . and where to get one.

When the blood pressure’s rising, your head and heart are about to implode and you just can’t take another moment, it helps to have a nursling.  Make a tea or pour some water for yourself and nurse till the hormones kick in.  If that’s not an option, not to worry; there’s another.

We have to be conscious. Even when we’re angry, we have to be aware of what we do and say.  No one wants therapy bills later!  I’m sure there are books out there that have numerous suggestions, proven methods that work in regards to anger management.  My issue runs deeper than that, though.

I feel like my greatest commission is to live compassionately.  My greatest challenge, however, is to extend unconditional love — true unconditional love — to my immediate family.  It is easy for me to do this with strangers, even friends, but my family, well, that’s another story.  Perhaps they are too close to me, too like me.  Perhaps they reveal that in me which I have yet to embrace or even acknowledge lovingly.  Whatever the reason, the same critical eye I hold to myself, I use toward my family.

I love my family, don’t misunderstand me, but every day when I feel I’m not experiencing and loving with compassion, I feel I’ve failed.  I feel like I’m not showing them how to live right, causing them to fail, too.  So what to do when you feel like you’re failing in your life’s purpose?  Lord knows I don’t have the Answer, but I have a hunch as to what helps.

Slow down.  Do the dishes and the laundry.  Sleep enough.  Drink lots of water.  Eat well, including a bit of a sweet treat — just a bit.  Evaluate commitments.  Slow down and enjoy the kids.  Enjoy this time in your life.  Remember you’re not alone.  Remember your purpose as a mother.  Realize that each day brings another lesson and that this, too, shall pass.

Just as my first suggestion was to nurse a child, my second is to nurse yourself.  Give yourself loving attention.  (I’m saying this to myself as well!)  We only truly fail if we do not learn from our mistakes.  We should pay attention to our lessons and learn what we can, even if at this moment it might just be a lesson on survival.

Our kids are always watching and learning, too.  Hopefully we can learn to show true compassion to ourselves so that is what they can take along with them as they grow each day.  We need to give ourselves time, and as long as we’re giving and receiving love, we haven’t failed at all.

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