The rewards of the summer are in the bounty of the garden.

I took my youngest to the botanical garden yesterday, the older three being with their grandma, and we got to pick some purple beans (like green beans, only purple).  I brought our handful home, added them to our small bit of green beans and the small batch from our produce delivery.  We had a full bowl, and they tasted delicious.  I’m not sure if it was the purple beans or not, but they seemed to have a particularly buttery flavor.  Delicious.  (picture coming as soon as my obstacles are overcome!)

I’ve also taken our bounty of squash and zucchini, added some onions, bell peppers, mushrooms (all flavored with some hoisin sauce and a bit of soy sauce) and teriyaki chicken to make a stir fry, served with brown rice.  The kids raved and raved, much to my surprise.

If you don’t have your own garden, take advantage of the local farmers’ markets.  Use your imagination to create something from what’s in season.  It’s a good practice anyway and will add something new to your diet, and, chances are, you’ll be glad you did.

Enjoy!

The wonderful thing about journaling, about writing for where you are in life at the moment, is that you can reflect on where you’ve come from, see if your thoughts are well-founded, see if your visions come true.  I wrote this entry almost two years ago.  Our sidewalk ended.  We leaped into the grassy field and wandered and faltered until we’ve eventually come back to where we were before.  Our gains were in experience and life lessons.  We’re still walking.  How does your path go?

Visiting with an acquaintance at the grocery store, catching her up on our goings-on, I found a good description for where we are right now.  “It’s like we’re right here where the sidewalk ends, and it’s going to take a leap of faith” to determine which path we make for ourselves.  So here we are.  Brace yourself.

For some reason, things have to come in clusters for us.  Having a baby would be enough excitement, but we also chose to homeschool the same year, build a bread oven in the backyard (starting right around the due date), and change jobs — the latter being the main reason the sidewalk ends.  Our path has never really been the well-maintained, paved walkway, more the broken, uneven, weedy, less-traveled path anyway.  However, now for some reason, my husband feels compelled to leave the corporate realm he’s been a part of since we’ve been married.  He, too, seeks authenticity, and I admire that.  He’s also the monetary provider for our livelihood, though, and there are quite a few of us these days to feed, making his decisions weighty.  Before truly following his dreams, we have to make sure there are assets, something to rely on to pay the bills.  It will take time, a transition period, perhaps, that will be less corporate but still techy.

Responsibility doesn’t have to mean certain doom.  We can have our families and our dreams; it just takes some juggling, fine-tuning and budgeting (in most cases).  I know I can’t afford a housekeeper, baby-sitter and all the craft supplies I want!  I can keep journals, especially ones that honor my ideas and dreams.  I can carve out time for me on good days.  We can take our kids to events we feel passionate about or at least take turns going.  When need be, time will be spent to provide the monetary necessities.  Interestingly enough, we can create money.

When we are in a good balance, the Universe has a way of providing.  So here where even our rough old sidewalk ends and we have to jump to our next path — probably the dirt trail through the grassy field and shady wood — we have to be balanced before we can thrive, and we have to trust ourselves and the Universe to support our decisions.  Everything will fall into place.  May the Universe Shower blessings and creativity upon us just as the Leonids shower the heavens.  I may not be able to see them clearly because of the huge clouds in the way, but I know they’re there.  When we are in vulnerable times in our lives, I believe it is ultimately important to listen to the still small voice that offers guidance, gives creative ideas, tells you to rest or to work.  We all need Divine help to find balance, and it’s a lot easier to jump if we feel we’re going in the right direction.  We do love our walks in the woods, and I’m loving my abundance of creative energy — it may just provide the bridge or net we need right now.

With most of the kids away, my husband and I find ourselves with a bit of quiet time together.  Over dinner last night he wondered aloud what we would do if we didn’t have all these yahoos around all the time.  I’m sure we could think of something, but having a list like this on hand makes it easy to choose.

We watched a movie together.  That’s basically free, entertaining, and we can lie together on the couch, sharing reactions and commentary.  This is delightful, don’t get me wrong, but I’m wondering about when the kids are busy all the time or moved out, the house relatively clean and we’re left together over dinner and the rest of our lives.  Will we get tired of each other?

I ask these questions so you can ask them yourself, too.  Where are the strengths in your relationship?  What do you need to work on?  Movies, candles and massages will only take you so far.  What else can we do to keep our love renewed? 

Here’s a list of some things I enjoy doing and hope to do with my partner in life, and you’ll notice not all of it revolves around idealistic romance.  Thinking that romance and true love revolve solely around sex is like thinking that keeping a house clean is about making sure the bed is made and the toys kept up; it’s just not that simple.

Being a creative romantic every day:

• Share coffee/tea in the morning before kids are awake (obviously a goal of mine, but when we heard a friend made the coffee for her husband before work, I noticed my husband’s eyes lit up)
• Take a bath together more than once a year
• Weekly massages
• Get hot and sweaty doing yard work or some other non-sexual workout together
• Share a shower at least once a week
• Tea and talk before bed, after kids are asleep — check in on goals, dreams, hopes, worries — just be sure to finish with resolve and happy thoughts
• Hold hands while walking
• Hold hands while driving (at least for a couple of minutes, not in heavy traffic!)
• Kiss daily
• Share the household chores
• Practice positive communication:  if you have to criticize, offer five compliments before you critique or ask for something
• Respect each other’s space
• Express emotions honestly, to yourself first and then to the other
• Realize it takes more energy to be angry than to let go
• Leave notes for him to find — we like the SHMILY (See How Much I Love You) notes left in random places, and I like to leave notes on his napkins if I make his lunch
• Talk to each other throughout the day
• Go out to eat and share your food, or at least a dessert together, from the same dish
• Know his favorite foods and try to make a dinner for him at least once a month
• Occasionally give him a weekend day to do what he wants — sleep, read, video games, etc.
• Do you ever wear your sexy lingerie?
• Sort through your clutter at the same time, you through yours, he through his; this keeps both of you on task and keeps you from making possibly hurtful comments
• Make or buy him something you know he likes, a card, a shirt, a blanket, a hat, a piece of art . . . something that every time he looks at it or uses it, he’ll know you love him
• Maintain a good relationship with his parents if you have one
• Take turns picking the movie on movie night
• Be kind to his good friends
• Let him take you out on a date of his making
• Slightly embarrass him in public by telling others in casual conversation some of the wonderful things he does for you
• Whisper in his ears
• See in him daily the young man you loved from the start

This is just a list of some little things we can do to nurture our relationships.  I didn’t include the bigger things we hope to do together, like go to Europe, travel all the states, go to a Zen retreat together, etc.  Most of these items are free, save for your time and loving energy.

Feel free to share your ideas.  I’d love to read them.  Happy romancing.

The proverb says if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again, right?  Well, I did, and I wasted at least two pounds of clay.

With the kids out of town and the littlest one sleeping, I decided to revisit the ol’ pottery wheel.  It’s an electric, so I feel like it’s just a machine.  The clay, on the other hand, comes from the earth, so I feel like it can have a mind of its own.  At least, that’s what I’m going with.  I tried with at least three helpings of clay and at least a dozen times to get it centered today so I could make a vase or even just a small bowl.  It wasn’t happening, and I could feel my temperament sinking, even with my now awake daughter watching me.

Thoughts going through my mind:  Perhaps I am not a potter.  Of course I’m not a potter; I’m a writer.  But everyone can write.  Can’t everyone wield some clay?  I’d just like to make something nice for someone.

Why won’t this center?  Am I not centered?  Are my arms that weak? My husband says that it’s not about your upper body strength.  You don’t have to strong-arm this.  Then why the hell is it knocking me around???

I’m not a quitter, but I know when I need to stop and get a new perspective.  I cleaned everything so that it will be nice for my husband when he decides to use our last bit of clay.

How many times do you not succeed before you give yourself permission not to do something?  (I’m trying to keep this as optimistic as possible; pardon the double negative.)  My thinking is that the answer is not simple.

Rather than try to make a concrete decision as to whether or not I’ll accept my fate as a non-potter, I’ll take the lesson that I have more to learn and more practice to do.  It’s a hard lesson to take, but our number of practices is determined by how well we can accept the current moment for what it is, no matter what we are doing or want to do.

I need to exercise my patience better.  I’ll stop by the clay studio and ask for a reminder lesson.  And I’ll practice more, if I can make myself take the time.  Some lessons take a while to sink in.  I am grateful for my time to grow.  No, really, I am!

It may not seem like it to you, but for some reason the thought crept into my mind this evening that via my blog I might sound idealistic, even “goody-goody” in my talk about using organic goods, being environmentally friendly, eating well, composting superbly, making my own things, and serving my community and the world to boot.  Heaven forbid I ever sound condescending.  Please tell me if that is ever the case, and feel free to use all caps (which I really can’t stand!).

So I thought I’d offer a reality check.  Some days I’m a chauffeur, driving our ’99 minivan that gets at most 21mpg on the highway, stopping in at Sonic on those jam-packed days for our burger and cherry limeades . . . oh, and fries or tots, too.  I shop at our local grocery about as much as at our local co-op.  I receive what is given to us, even if I know it’s not fair trade.  I eat chocolate and sweets with the best of them, have my own insecurities and worries, and wonder if I’m doing what is best at least several times a day.  I procrastinate too much and have an infinite to-do list. . .

I share this with you because I think it’s almost taboo in our society to admit what we think are our downfalls.  We seem to be stuck on appearances, facades, and there are many we can choose from if we can wear the mask well.  But it’s our true friends that can call us on it — better yet if we admit our hypocrisies or inconsistencies first.  Awareness and acceptance of our true selves are our first steps toward true change, right?

I’m becoming increasingly aware of what my shortcomings are, and my husband and I are on our way to outlining our true values.  While our reasons are economic in nature, I believe we’ll have some personal revelations along the way, too.  That’s a good thing.  It’s also a good thing to evaluate your life every once in a while to see what is working for you and what’s not.  Perhaps too many layers have built up, and it’s time to be honest with yourself so that you can again be honest with others.

Is there anything that requires more courage than to be yourself, with all your imperfections and thus your beauty?  Let’s reflect on that this weekend and not forget to keep the mirror clear.

I confess.  I spent most of the day in my pajamas, reading a book.  I managed a shower before my hubby came home, but barely.  I left the kids to their own devices, though I remained in the living room where I could see and hear all.  We ate our meals; thank God for cereal and leftovers!  Why am I sharing this on a craf-T day?

I spent all day Tuesday and Wednesday fully committed.  Not that I don’t love that.  I love doing what I do and doing it well.  It’s just that it consumes my finite amount of energy, which in turn drains my creative energy or allows it to get stagnant.  I have huge fever blisters telling me I’m not treating myself well.  Thus, a day off to recharge.  Plus, we got the next Alvin Maker book.  I started it a couple of days ago, reading the first four chapters or so, but you bet I finished it today.  Now I’m waist deep in the story and have to keep reading so as to know that the series ends well.  I also had to finish it today so that I could limit my day of near-neglect of children to only a single day.

Am I recharged?  I have to think so because there is much creative energy ready to burst at the seams.  Do I have time to do it all?  Maybe instead of reading I should have been writing or sewing.  But a good foray into a fantasy is nearly as good as any movie, and I haven’t been watching much t.v. lately.

I’ll just chalk today up as a day I babied myself, nursed myself, gave myself permission to do nothing strenuous.  As a mother of four, that takes a lot of creativity.  Now to look forward to Monday’s massage.

I received an e-mail from a friend, forwarding me to a website.  I have to admit, I’m intrigued by the name “Girl Effect,” but the video speaks volumes into one aspect of good we can do in our world.  I had to share.  If you don’t think you can do anything, try contacting the Heifer Project, at least.  Do a search for loan programs for women in developing countries, also known as micro-credit loans.  I’m sure there’s something we can do.

No, I didn’t come up with this idea on my own.  Family Fun had an article in their magazine, which was given to me by a dear friend for an Earth Scouts activity.  The great thing is that most kids love anything with marshmallows and chocolate.  I felt a little bad about not having organic components for our s’mores, but pocketbooks are what they are.

Good to Know:

• It takes over an hour to bake if the sun’s not at its hottest.  The chocolate melts pretty quickly, considering it was 90 degress, but marshmallows take a while.
• We fit three s’mores in our small-sized pizza box ovens.
• We reused some deli meat tray lids for the plastic tops, and when cut right, they fit as snugly as possible and didn’t really need glue.
• Take pictures!  My regret is that I was too tired after an all-around busy day to take photos.
• Have clean-up items handy.  Melted chocolate = big messes.

Being waist-deep in summer vacation, you might think I have the kids in mind.  While the kids are very much on my mind, I’m actually thinking of the millions of Americans who have nothing better to do than watch t.v., which is happy to oblige, keeping us mindlessly preoccupied.

Life is happening all around you, and you can get as adventurous as you want.  Each one of us has the potential to make the world a better place, to contribute a positive energy to the universe as a whole.  Whether you take a walk in a neighborhood park, picking up a bit of litter on your way or whether you take your issue to D.C. to lobby with Congress, there is much to do.  You have the potential to do anything.

In a conversation with my husband, I told him that for every thing I do, there are at least ten other things I’m not doing — four of those relating to something for each child, the other six relating to my high priority commitments/responsibilities.  He reminded me that actually there’s an infinite number of things I’m not doing when I choose my one thing, and he’s right.  Could it be this overwhelming feeling that bogs us down so easily that we get caught in a trap, stuck in the mire?

We have things we have to do, things we’re supposed to do, things we should be doing, ought to do, want to do, hope to do, yearn to do.  I have to make dinner, am supposed to be doing laundry, should be visiting my grandparents, ought to catch up on my blog, want to write in my novel, hope to pay off our debt, yearn to go to Europe.  I’m sure your list is different, yet the same.

When I sit doing “nothing,” it’s not because I’m bored.  Overwhelmed, maybe, but not bored.  Never bored.  There’s too much work to do, too many good things to be done, too much I hope to do.  Many of those things benefit the future of my kids.  Many benefit our home and ourselves right now.

As I watched over my daughter squeezing lemons for the first time, I reminded her that all we have is now.  She was tired of standing, tired of always waiting for something.  (She was in a frightful beastie state!)  I told her she could be waiting for something for the rest of her life and miss what’s happening now.  Maybe a seed is planted in her subconscious.  I tried my best not to take it personal, not to get angry.

There’s too much work to be done to waste energy on anger.  When you look at all you do or hope to do, I hope you realize that you aren’t bored, either, and that you realize what you are doing is making our world a better place as well.  In the end, it may take a village, but in the beginning, it just takes one person to come up with a good idea.

Let’s get to work.

It doesn’t get better than this.  I gave my kids (at least half of them) something to do while I was making dinner.  It worked, tasted great, and there’s more than enough for the rest of the week.

My husband notified me of a CRAFT post about homemade butter, told me about it, and I knew we had to give it a try.  CRAFT linked to this site here which has a nice photo and lovely instructions.

What we did:

Pint heavy cream put in a
Ball jar with lid (which did leak a little bit)

SHAKE and shake and shake some more

Chill to harden a bit (I put it in the freezer for a few for sake of time)

Use in mashed potatoes and on corn on the cob.

Now, to make some bread and/or muffins to try it out!

I should note that the directions said to drain off the buttermilk that’s on the top when it first starts to harden.  Well, I don’t know if we were just shaking too much or what, but we didn’t have any buttermilk when I took the lid off to look, and it was already pretty thick.

Also, after being in the fridge for a day, it still has a whipped texture.  That could be from using heavy whipping cream and not just heavy cream.  I didn’t think there was a difference, but I’ve been wrong before.  Perhaps that accounts for the lack of buttermilk as well.  Hmmm.

It’s super easy, though, and I highly recommend it, especially since butter is so expensive.  Plus, it’s a novelty.  What better gift than homemade bread and butter?  Now to find someone with extra baby food jars . . .

Have fun!