Finally, we have something in our garden besides volunteers, which consisted of some sunflowers — the first of which bloomed this morning — some tomatoes and some sort of squash or melon (we’ll know when it gets bigger leaves or its fruit).  Now we have our intentional tomatoes (the salmonella-free variety), squash, zucchini, okra, cucumbers, sweet bell peppers, and seeds for basil and cilantro and flowers, soon.

Time in the garden inevitably reconnects you to the earth.  There’s rejuvenation in tending to the plants, noting the beneficial insects, removing the pesky ones (with a blessing and pardon).  Rising before the sun crests high enough to heat you through and through, it’s refreshing and truly signals the start of a new day with hope and promise.  You are at the mercy of nature, lacking the control to determine exactly how the crop turns out, but if you do your best, chances are you’ll be rewarded.

May we all be blessed with bountiful gardens, whether our plot is large or small, spreading across acres or spread around in containers.  Enjoy the bit of earth you are blessed to share, and tend it well.

A gardening book we were recommended and encourage others to look into as well:  John Jeavons’ How to Grow More Vegetables.

The night I spent in the Orlando airport I felt vulnerable and small yet unafraid — despite the every fifteen minute reminder that the US terrorist threat alert is a Code Orange.  While I don’t want to die a fiery death any more than the next fellow, I also don’t want to live in the constant worry about how my end will come.  I don’t want to focus on the awful capacity humans have to inflict harm on others.  I don’t want to be afraid.

As parents of an avid reader, we let ourselves get swept away in the Harry Potter phenomenon.  (Okay, so it was my decision to go ahead and see what all the hype was about after the second book came out.  Been hooked every since then.)  So, when I think of fear, I think of the grip Voldemort had over the wizarding community.  Hold on.  See me through on this one; you may have heard it before. 

The Potter books captured something in people’s imaginations, in their lives.  Otherwise, it would not have been able to sell the millions/billions of copies it has.  Fear is a universal emotion, and it is one that fuels the opposition to the “good guys” in the series.  Think about it.  Voldemort’s supporters either adore him or fear him; perhaps it’s best a mixture of them both.  The majority of the community fears him so much that they dare not speak his name lest they summon his presence.  The “good guys” or The Order do not so much fear Voldemort as the evil that he perpetuates.  Harry and Dumbledore go so far as not even to fear Voldemort because they understand a truth.  Voldemort at his core is just a man, a man devoid of a soul, devoid of the capacity to love, which is why he is so willing and able to feed and thrive on fear.

What do we fear so much that we whisper its name.  What do you whisper to your closest companions as your greatest fear?  What sends a chill up your back?  Why do you fear it so?

I do not proclaim to be immune to fear.  There are things that make my skin crawl, my heart race.  But I catch myself asking why I let myself get so worked up.  Maybe there are ghosts.  Spiders can inflict harm (we have the harmful kind around here).  Maybe I shouldn’t watch the movies that activate my imagination.

If I value my quality of life, I have a choice to make.  I can name my fears and face them bravely (as JK has suggested we do), or I can avoid them, let them rule my life.

Whether it be the spiders in my yard or countries over seas, I acknowledge the fact that I cannot determine the actions of others.  I send out the energy of love, faith and hope.  When it comes down to it, if I have a clear and open heart, then I have lived well, lived a life full of love rather than fear.  After all, isn’t our capacity to love what can save us in the end?

Today was Kids’ Day at our local farmer’s market, and we were happy to have an Earth Scouts booth there.  Not only were we telling other folks about this great alternative scouting program, but we were encouraging them to participate in The Great Sunflower Project.  Do take a look at the site, grow some sunflowers, count some bees and report your findings.  It’s a great summer project for those of you with kids old enough to understand it or at least get the general idea. 

Tomorrow we’ll be visiting our local botanical garden for a music/puppet program.  The summer fun never ends!  All the while, we’re getting a good dose of vitamin D, and the kids sleep well at night.

And, if you need a crafty floral idea, my mom sent me this link to make a pressed flower bookmark.  We’ve already bought a bunch of flower seeds.  Hopefully before the summer’s over I’ll be able to share some beautiful flower photos.  It would be even better to have my own flowers pressed into a bookmark.  Time will tell.

Enjoy the sunshine and watch for bees!

Trying to accomplish anything with stacks of clutter, disheveled children, dirty dishes and laundry, sentences my efforts to doom.  It is said that your home is a reflection of your inner state.  I daresay that it’s not always a reflection; an external mess can wreak havoc on your internal well-being as well.

I’ve focused a few posts on organization.  The theme of clearing clutter holds relevance for us all in our modern society where the barrage of stuff never ends and we strive for simplicity.   Right now, actually, my house is relatively clean, but our burdens are not always of the physical sort.

We have our lists of things to do, whether written or maintained by memory (if yours is better than mine), but do you honestly have everything spelled out?  For all the things you want done or need done, do you know what your next step is?  Do you realize that all these little things are also cluttering your mind, your energy, your “playing field”?

Think of how wonderful you feel when you spend a day catching up on some of the things that you’ve “been meaning to do.”  At least once a month, I find myself taking such a day.  It might be as simple as changing the batteries in the remote or changing the sheets, or it might be more involved as weeding the gardens, getting the oil changed, catching up on correspondences.  You may even share in the responsibilities of paying debt, reducing your carbon footprint, and being an activist in your community

Usually there is some little thing standing in our way of getting things done.  We are fond of calling them “gumption traps.”  It may be that I need to buy some rechargeable batteries or hunt down some addresses.  I may not want to take the kids with me to the mechanic or do the extra laundry of the sheets.  Responsibilities may seem too great for me alone.

As I continually work to clear the house of unnecessaries, I find I need to bring more attention to the unnecessary mental clutter, too.  Often I realize that some of my mental clutter contributes to the physical clutter.  More often than not, it just takes time and that initial boost of energy to get off my duff.  Like everyone else, I’m sure, I have my fair share of creative projects and volunteer to-do’s.  What I have to do is prioritize, evaluate and decide what truly needs to be done, what I want to be done and then, like I said, get off my duff and do it.

Undoubtedly, it’s harder on rainy days to garner up the extra energy, but I know that the clearer my field is, the more energy I have to keep it clear and to do the things that really matter, like making sure I’m setting a good example for my kids.

Do you know people notorious for insisting on doing things themselves?  If they want something done, they really want it done their way now, and you should know how they want it done without asking lots of questions. 

Sound ridiculous?  It is, and we know it.  There is no sane, healthy way to get everything done all on your own . . . if you happen to know that sort of person . . . or be that sort of person.  A-hem.

Miracles can and do happen.  You can learn to ask and really mean it.  Often when we “ask” people or children to do something, we’re really telling them to do something our way.  Truly asking someone, though, means you would like a desired result.  The means of getting there are out of your hands.

Think of asking your kids to clean their room.  You can ask them and then sit around directing them to do it, putting things where you have told them they go, or you can let them do it, perhaps given a set amount of time or pending a certain reward/consequence.  My kids need motivation.

Think of asking the Universe for financial assistance.  You can have your plan and stress through your idea of a budget and your needs/wants, or you can work diligently and listen for opportunities, follow synchronicities and trust.  (Usually it takes a combination of these things, doesn’t it?)

The main lesson I’ve learned is that to truly reduce my stress load, it helps to just ask for help and let go of my ego enough to appreciate others’ ways of doing things.  We learn so much from other people, whether they be family, friends or strangers, but we have to give them room to share their individuality, their different perspective.  Heaven forbid we discover a better way of doing something!

Our personal finances are really tight at the moment, as are most everyone’s, but when I was reminded of Women’s Institute, a women’s retreat our church diocese has every year,  I remembered how I had promised myself I would go this year.  Would I let the cost stand in my way?  Would my husband be up for yet another weekend of me being away?

I asked.  I asked for a scholarship.  I asked my mom to take the boys for the weekend.  I asked my mother-in-law to take our oldest.  I asked my husband to just be home for the weekend with the youngest.  I asked for guidance from the universe.  (Well, the last bit is just a daily request anyway, so I don’t know how much that factors in, but it never hurts.)  This weekend, I’m getting my retreat.

The more you do it, the easier it gets, but every time you’re learning another lesson and growing into a more open, truly receptive person.  The next time someone asks you to do something, perhaps you can do it with an open and compassionate heart, showing them that it’s okay to ask, helping them to grow, too.

I’ve mention Terra Studios before (they have the stone labyrinth I’ve shared a photo of), and today that’s where we spent the morning, frolicking amongst the trolls.  It is a little world of its own and a great place to have a picnic lunch.  It’s worth the drive to refresh the soul and fill your creative well.

There’s a book called The Feminine Face of God which I haven’t yet read but hope to do so soon.  Perhaps one day I will write a version along the same lines on my own.  My reasons for doing either or both are a long time in the making but take me along the same path.

I admit, first of all, that I take spirituality very seriously.  I also admit that I feel comfortable with organized religion — most of the time.  When I feel discomfort, I move around until I find my next niche.  Impermanence has served my journey well.  Until recently, anyway.

I confessed to my husband I was feeling what I termed “spiritual discomfort.”  I was going to services, helping with Sunday School, playing my role, but I wasn’t getting fulfilled.  He told me I was out of his league trying to talk such with him.  Then I dream that I tell our rector that I’m not satisfied.  After discussion with a dear friend, I realize that the dream takes me to God, if I can be in the peace and calm that is God’s presence and grace.  Finally pieces start coming together when the rector gives his sermon on one of the following Sundays.  In the sermon he talks about a friend of his who sees God as an almighty judge and thus lives with judgement.  He spoke about Gandhi who believed all were One and could exist nonviolently, living peacefully as one of a greater One.  He mentions Christ whose God was love, so Christ lived love for all.  Then he says Thomas Merton believed the divine was transparent through all beings and things, thus living a life transparent to the divine.  Crucially, the rector then asks, “What do you believe?  What do you worship?”  Because surely what we believe in so much to worship will show through in our lives.

So I wonder about what I worship.  I can’t even pick a favorite book, let alone an image of God or a firm belief in God.  I wonder then if maybe this isn’t part of my discontent.  I’m a person who likes to have a plan and go with it; I don’t even mind if it’s a draft — just let’s get started.  I’d rather make changes while doing than mull over probabilities.  I realize that in the past few months I’ve been modifying the Nicene Creed, adding some feminine pronouns in lieu of existing masculine ones.  That has brought some relief.  What I ultimately wonder, though, is if I fully believe in a feminine side of God.  For the longest now I’ve just envisioned God as a divine energy, giving everything life and substance.  Can I alter my view of the trinity to see the Holy Spirit as the Holy Mother?  Is that sacrilegious?  Obviously, my meetings with my spiritual director come at a good time, if they’re not overdue.

While I have many questions that I don’t expect to be answered anytime soon, I do understand a few things.  I think it’s a healthy process to question and grow and change, even if eventually we change back, so long as we feel blessed in doing so.  I’ve followed my journey consciously for years, and I realize that natural, feminine spirituality is part of my vein of gold.  I feel I have issues with worshiping anything or anyone, so defining an image for what I “worship” is difficult.  However, I honestly believe that seeking a maternal divine is like looking for home; it feels right and good.

So, I’ll continue my work as a mother and writer.  I’ll carry on with my housework, children, hobbies, gardening, etc.  I’ll wonder, if not marvel, at how all these acts and the consciousness therein bring me closer to the feminine side of God so that I might embody it, too.  That will be good enough for now.

A friend shared this link with me, and I quickly subscribed to the newsletter.  May you find some inspiration for your little ones, too.

Notice that she has a monthly book giveaway if you submit a photo of your crafty kids.  Good luck!

Two words:  summer vacation

Instead of retreating into the couch with a sugary coffee and some bon bons, I’m taking this challenge by the horns.  I will survive!  (Feel free to break into song and dance.)

I printed the June and July calendars, and I filled the back of one sheet with ideas and general daily outlines.  The other sheet is filled with “Expectations of Behavior,” “Do These Every Day,” and a list of consequences.  No, I didn’t make these all up on my own.  The older two kids were right there with me.  I got their input, too, which is really crucial if you want an effective plan of action.

That said, my kids are notoriously good at the first couple of days in any new action/idea/concept/etc.  The proof will be at the end of the week and in the next eight weeks — whether I’ve gone mad and if my kids are ravaged with boredom.  We have so much fun stuff planned, though, that I really don’t see why it wouldn’t work.

To assist others in their summer planning, I figure I’d offer our ideas for June.  Next month, I’ll share July/early August.  (Their school starts back Aug. 14.)  And, just in case you’re wondering, I added our “everyday” list. 

Hope this helps!  Let me know if you have other suggestions, though our calendar is quite full!  : )

Do These Every Day

• Speak kindly to everyone
• Use words, not violence
• Obey parents
• Cooperate

*yes, my kids need these reminders!

June Schedule

Monday: Cleaning day, walk to park; if finish cleaning have family movie/game
Tuesday: Morning gardening/yard work, outside play; evening at Free Geek to learn to build computers
Wednesday:  library, botanical gardens; craft time
Thursday:  play at park/mall/outing; gardening/yard work
Friday:  free play, quick clean; swim time

Activities

Week 1:  Terra Studios, weekend at gradma’s
Week 2:  Vacation Bible School, weekend road trip
Week 3:  Breakfast outing, Children’s dance party, movie outing
Week 4:  Blueberry picking, Magician at library, pizza party, library concert

My kids are already checking to see what’s going on tomorrow.  It’s nice to be able to tell them.