Do you know people notorious for insisting on doing things themselves? If they want something done, they really want it done their way now, and you should know how they want it done without asking lots of questions.
Sound ridiculous? It is, and we know it. There is no sane, healthy way to get everything done all on your own . . . if you happen to know that sort of person . . . or be that sort of person. A-hem.
Miracles can and do happen. You can learn to ask and really mean it. Often when we “ask” people or children to do something, we’re really telling them to do something our way. Truly asking someone, though, means you would like a desired result. The means of getting there are out of your hands.
Think of asking your kids to clean their room. You can ask them and then sit around directing them to do it, putting things where you have told them they go, or you can let them do it, perhaps given a set amount of time or pending a certain reward/consequence. My kids need motivation.
Think of asking the Universe for financial assistance. You can have your plan and stress through your idea of a budget and your needs/wants, or you can work diligently and listen for opportunities, follow synchronicities and trust. (Usually it takes a combination of these things, doesn’t it?)
The main lesson I’ve learned is that to truly reduce my stress load, it helps to just ask for help and let go of my ego enough to appreciate others’ ways of doing things. We learn so much from other people, whether they be family, friends or strangers, but we have to give them room to share their individuality, their different perspective. Heaven forbid we discover a better way of doing something!
Our personal finances are really tight at the moment, as are most everyone’s, but when I was reminded of Women’s Institute, a women’s retreat our church diocese has every year, I remembered how I had promised myself I would go this year. Would I let the cost stand in my way? Would my husband be up for yet another weekend of me being away?
I asked. I asked for a scholarship. I asked my mom to take the boys for the weekend. I asked my mother-in-law to take our oldest. I asked my husband to just be home for the weekend with the youngest. I asked for guidance from the universe. (Well, the last bit is just a daily request anyway, so I don’t know how much that factors in, but it never hurts.) This weekend, I’m getting my retreat.
The more you do it, the easier it gets, but every time you’re learning another lesson and growing into a more open, truly receptive person. The next time someone asks you to do something, perhaps you can do it with an open and compassionate heart, showing them that it’s okay to ask, helping them to grow, too.