Living or Waiting

baby_on_board.jpgA doula client of mine is due any day now, and I’m reminded of what it’s like to be in those last days of pregnancy, full of life and discomfort, joy and anxiety.  You want to make plans, but you have to be willing to let go of those in an instant.  Life takes precedence.

Perhaps it’s not so much waiting that we’re really doing; that’s just our perception.  What’s really going on is that we’re making plans, scheduling our time, arranging our lives as we see fit . . . until Life happens, waking us from our delirium, our illusion that we have any kind of control.

Many of us have friends who are waiting for the right time to buy a house or to have kids.  Many of us put off dreams until we have the nest egg or until the kids are grown.  Most of us are just waiting for the perfect time to do something with our lives, if only we knew what that something was — if that time ever does come.

There is beauty in perfect timing.  A sense of control is satisfying to us, especially to our ego.  But don’t you just love the stories of someone living passionately?  They do what they do now because there is no better time?  They (like we could, too) use their talents to the max, love fiercely and live like this were their last day.

Have you seen Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture?  He has a book that just went on sale, too.  This guy gets it and probably always has.  It may just be that his eminent mortality makes his message speak louder to us than the ever-present existence of our own mortality.

We may think we’re waiting, but wouldn’t it be better for us all if we were living.  We can live our days, excited about the potentiality therein.  If what happens saddens us or brings us grief, we can hope to have the wisdom to find the meaning of it all,  to experience the growth that is offered. 

I look forward to the birth that is to come, though probably not nearly as much as the mother!  I hope to live these days with joy and gratitude.  May I not take the moments and all they are filled with for granted. 

We have a garden to plant now.

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